


hide our faces 'cause baby they can't handle it

by daydoodles



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Banter, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Don't Judge Me, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-26 19:48:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6253579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daydoodles/pseuds/daydoodles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wade Wilson doesn't go to coffee shops.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hide our faces 'cause baby they can't handle it

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A Gentle Touch](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6110464) by [Unknownhero00](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unknownhero00/pseuds/Unknownhero00). 



> Okay like, this sounds like a crack fic but I actually ship this out the ass. Please join me in the rarest of rarepair hells *bitter sobbing* If anyone cares I've decided their ship name should be Tokyopool...like Tokyo ghoul, get it? I'm lame.
> 
> Also, the long ass title is from [Viices](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=p7-uJDTRPEI) by Made In Heights.

They meet in a coffee shop, which is so mundane and cliche it almost makes Wade laugh. It's not like he has anything against coffee shops, but he doesn't frequent them either; he usually gets ogled at by all the elderly couples and groups of kids around and he honestly can't be bothered with that. And it's not like he can wear a mask to Starbucks without causing some major suspicion, so he avoids it altogether. 

This isn't a Starbucks though, it's a quaint little shop on the edge of town that Wade doesn't go to much, one of those hipster places that somehow always seems empty. Actually, it's pretty busy, given that it's a Friday afternoon, but nobody pays much attention to Wade or his fucked up face. He appreciates that, at least. He can't remember the name of the place, since he just followed his latest target inside, waiting for an opening to make his move. Normally he'd just make an opportunity himself, but he’d prefer to keep random civilians out of this. It could get messy, if his track record is anything to go by.

A white-haired kid with an eyepatch comes over, noticing Wade for the first time. “Hello sir, and welcome to Anteiku. What can I get you to drink?” He smiles, but it's one of those fake smiles that everyone who works with the general public has to master. That's probably why Wade never worked in customer service; he's shit at pretending to be nice.

“Whatever has the most caffeine,” he tells the barista, not having spared a glance at the menu since he entered the shop. The kid nods, then goes off to ramble his order to the girl behind the counter.

Maybe “kid” isn't exactly the right word, though; he's at least in his twenties, but he looks like he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders. Wade notices he sighs an awful goddamn lot, even when he's just standing there not particularly doing anything. It's like he's haunted, and Wade would know.

A few minutes later he comes back, Wade’s coffee in hand, and places it gingerly on the table between them. Wade nods in thanks, taking a sip and feeling his eyes go wide at how strong it is. “What the fuck is in this?”

The guy honest to god giggles. “It's a black eye.”

Wade furrows his brows, squinting at him. “What in the hell is a black eye?”

“It's when you get punched or hit or whatever, and your eyes bruises so it -”

“I know that. I meant the drink.”

The kid smirks, the little shit. “It's just brewed coffee with a double shot of espresso in it. That's got the most caffeine of anything on the menu.” He shrugs, like Wade should've known as much. Wade scoffs.

“Well, this should do the trick. Thanks…” He trails off, not really sure how to end that.

“Kaneki,” he says as he sticks his hand out for Wade to shake.

“Wade Wilson.” He grabs Kaneki’s hand, and it's surprisingly soft against his own scarred flesh. He wonders if he jerks off a lot, or if he just really likes lotion. “What's up with your eye?” He motions to the eyepatch Kaneki’s wearing as he takes another sip of his heart attack in a cup.

“What's up with your face?” Kaneki deadpans, and Wade gets the sense he won't put up with any shit. He likes that, he can work with that.

“The long version or the short version?”

“Longer is better, probably.”

“That's what she said.” Kaneki glares at him, so he just chuckles and motions for him to sit down at the free chair on the other side of the table. When he does, Wade continues, “I had cancer, in more places than I could count. This shady guy offered me a miracle, and I took it, thought he'd make me a superhero. It was all bullshit though, he just wanted me to be a slave so he could sell me to the highest bidder. But anyway, when they shot me up with whatever the fuck they used to cure me, it had some...side effects.”

“Like what?” Kaneki’s sitting with his chin in his hands now, elbows on the table top. It's infuriatingly cute.

“Like my face. Though some of them were pretty damn good, it did ruin my beautiful complexion.”

Kaneki nods a bit, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. “I get that.”

Wade raises his eyebrows as he eyes Kaneki over the rim of his cup. “Yeah? What happened to you?”

Kaneki lifts the eyepatch slightly, revealing a completely normal looking eye underneath. Wade quirks an eyebrow, but before he can say anything, Kaneki’s eye starts to turn black. The centre goes red at the same time, and nasty looking veins shoot out from the iris to cover a quarter of his face. Wade whistles, impressed, as Kaneki’s eye shifts back to normal and he slaps the eyepatch back over it. “I was gonna die, too. You've heard of ghouls, right?”

Wade nods; everyone’s heard of ghouls. His target for the night is actually suspected to be a ghoul, which is why he's in this damn coffee shop doing recon to begin with. “Of course.”

Kaneki takes a deep breath. “Well, some of my organs were irreparably damaged, so they did a transplant. But the organs they gave me came from a ghoul.”

“You agreed to that shit?”

“Of course not, I was unconscious. I only found out after I woke up, and they didn't even tell me. I had to figure it out myself based on the fact that I can only live off of human flesh now.” He frowns, and Wade kind of wants to hug him. That might be creepy, though, so he doesn't.

“That sounds like a shitty day, man. You have a girlfriend or something to keep you going, at least?”

Kaneki’s frown deepens. “No, she died.”

Wade’s scowling now, too. “Fuck, I feel your pain there. My girl got murdered by some dipshit who was out to get me. Still haven't caught the bastard.”

“My girlfriend died while she tried to kill me.” Kaneki doesn't even flinch when he says it.

Wade’s eyes widen ever so slightly; he's gotten pretty decent at hiding his reactions to crazy shit, but there are some things that even he can't sympathise with. “Shit, why?”

“She was the ghoul whose organs I got. She was gonna eat me.” He sighs, like he's over this whole shitstorm. Wade can't really blame him.

“Damn. I gotta say, at least my girlfriend was always, I don't know, not homicidal? Though she did hold her own in a fight.”

Kaneki shrugs, not really knowing how to respond to that. “Not every relationship can end well, I guess.”

Wade raises his cup to Kaneki in agreement. “You're right about that, kid.” He takes another sip, finishing off the drink and slamming it down on the table. Kaneki doesn't even flinch.

He's getting up to leave when something occurs to him. “Hey, Kaneki, you're like half ghoul right?”

Kaneki nods slowly, unsure where he's going with this. “Yeah, so?”

“So do you know who this fucker is?” Wade pulls a grainy photo from his back pocket; it's wrinkled and low quality and has a stain on it that's probably blood, but Kaneki takes it and studies it carefully. After a minute, he nods.

“That's Jason,” he says as he hands the picture back.

“You say that like I'm supposed to know who that is.”

Kaneki rolls his eyes good-naturedly. “He's a ghoul, and he's the reason my hair is white. Stress, and all that.”

Wade stares at him for a beat. “Stress from what?”

“Nothing much, he just tortured me for a couple weeks. Cut off my fingers and toes, chained me up, the usual.” He cracks a sad smile, and Wade feels his shoulders slump a little in sympathy.

“Been there, done that. I wish mine would've been over in two weeks, though.”

Kaneki smirks at him now. “Is this a competition?”

Wade shrugs as he cocks a hip. “Everything’s a competition with me, dude. It's how I cope with my deep-rooted emotional trauma and crippling depression.”

“Same, probably.” Something like comisery flashes in Kaneki’s eyes (or at least the one Wade can see), but it's gone almost instantly.

“So, whatcha say? Wanna help me kick Jason’s fat ass?” Wade holds a hand out, helping Kaneki to his feet. “You might wanna change first, though. I'm not known for keeping the crime scene clean.”

Kaneki laughs then, genuinely. “Me either.” He pauses, touching Wade’s arm to get him to wait. “But I'm wondering, how do you fight ghouls? You don't even have a kagune.”

Wade rolls his eyes as he laughs; he's heard this more times than he cares to count. “Babe, think about it. Ghouls may be tough, but they're not indestructible. I don't know why those dipshits at the CCG mess with kagune when all they have to do is empty a couple rounds into them.”

Kaneki turns on his heel to go change into more fight-appropriate clothes, but not before turning and regarding Wade for another moment. “I like your style, Wade Wilson.”

This time, it's Wade grabbing Kaneki’s arm to get his attention. “Hey, when we’re out, call me Deadpool. Secret identity and all that shit.”

Kaneki smirks again. “Alright, but only if you call me Eyepatch. You aren't the only one with things to hide, y’know.”

Wade finds he's smiling despite himself long after Kaneki disappears up the stairs.


End file.
